


Wounds may heal over time

by Poison_literature



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: What the heck am I doing?, fem!Hiro, hiro is sad, seriously, what the heck am i doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 09:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5370149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poison_literature/pseuds/Poison_literature
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four times Hiro coped without Tadashi and the one time she didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wounds may heal over time

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my gods, I wrote this so long ago. I think it's been over half a year.  
> I just decided to post this for some reason.  
> Sorry about any mistakes, this was really old and I was too lazy to check it over again.

1.

Hiro had always been an outcast during high school. Skipping four grades and still being a ton smarter than her classmates didn't really inspire kindness and friendship. Her name also served to set her apart even further. 

Hiro wasn't her real name, it was just something everyone called her. Nobody even remembered Hiro's actual name, not even Hiro herself.

Hiro wasn't afraid of being different, though. It made her feel special and she was proud of being what Tadashi called 'one in a million'. It was something she enjoyed being able to call herself.

That was, until the bullying started.

Being younger and weaker, she was the perfect target for bullies who often locked her in closets and forced her to do their homework. It was terrifying for the girl who then started to become more secluded and shy.

When Tadashi found out about it he had been absolutely furious, personally marching up to them and beating the hell out of them. He was suspended for three days, but it was worth it as he was able to teach the bullies a lesson and they had gotten expelled.

After that, no one had dared to ever bully Hiro again, and on the rare occasions that they did, they always had Tadashi to deal with.

 

Though she should have expected it, she didn't think that it would start again even after Tadashi had died.

She had been walking down one of the corridors in SFIT one day when she was suddenly shoved into a supply closet. She fell unceremoniously to the floor and heard the sound of footsteps coming in, followed by the audible click of the door closing. She looked up to see three guys, whom she recognized from her robotics class, looming above her.

"Now, listen up." One of the guys, Ted if she remembered correctly, hissed menacingly at her.

"you're going to do our final projects for us, or else we'll lock you up in this closet till you do, got it?"

Hiro was scared, she felt as if she was back in high school, when the bullying had first started. But it wasn't. If it was, she wouldn't have had to worry about the possibility of no one realizing that she was gone. Tadashi would and he would come save her. There in the present, he was gone, and he wouldn't be able to come to the rescue her ever again.

Summoning whatever courage she had, she decided to try to stand up for herself like Tadashi did for her.

"I'm not going to do anything for you." She declared looking up at them, trying to keep her voice steady, then proceeded to swear at them with a couple of choice cuss words that Tadashi definitely would have cringed at.

She barely had time register the incoming fist before the punch landed, her head snapping to the side.

One of the guys sneered at and her kicked her side, then all of them left, locking the door behind them.

Hiro didn't know how long she was stuck there for, scared, lonely and in pain, but after what felt like an eternity, she heard the jingling sound of keys. The door then flew open, revealing a worried looking Wasabi and a fuming Honey Lemon.

"Thank goodness!" Cried Wasabi "We were so worried when we couldn't find you, and then we overheard those guy talking about you and Honey had to basically beat the answers out of them!"

Hiro looked at Honey, her brows furrowing at the thought of her tormentors. Who would have thought that Honey had it in her? She was so nice and sweet all the time.

Maybe she still had people who'd help her.

 

 

2\. 

Unlike what most people believed, Hiro remembered about her parents' death. She may have been three but she was a genius, though she mostly remembered the pain.

Hiro was plagued by night terrors. It was a fact that she hid well, the only person knowing about them being Tadashi.

On those nights, Hiro would wake up and crawl over to Tadashi's bed. He had never complained about it, just whispered soothing words to her till she fell asleep again. Sometimes when they were really bad, Tadashi would have been woken from his slumber by her whimpers and cries. Then he would go over to her, gently wake her up and hug her till she cried herself back to sleep. Occasionally, he even stayed up the entire night with her.

Hiro stopped being clingy at the age of ten, yet whenever the nightmares came, she tended to stick to Tadashi a bit more than usual. It wasn't the most obvious thing, but if you looked closely, you could definitely tell.

Hiro had always secretly been thankful that Tadashi let her be clingy and never once told her to go away, no matter how busy he was. He had even missed a test that one time just to stay at home with her. Hiro had felt completely and utterly guilty when she found out, only to have her brother tickle the breath out of her and tell her that "For a genius, you're pretty stupid at times".

Tadashi had always been her lifeline in those situations, her sole confidant. Back then, she had never thought that one day, he would be there to help her anymore.

 

Hiro had woken up that night, clutching at her sheets and gasping for breath.  
She had a particularly bad dream, the type Tadashi would have to stay up the entire night with her for.

In the dream, she had relived the night during which Tadashi had died. Everything started exactly as it did that night; there were people running out of the building in a panicked frenzy, trying to escape the burning fires that had started within. She saw Tadashi ask the girl, always the same one, if everyone was okay and her telling him that Callaghan was still inside. She found herself clutching at her brother's arm in a death grip, as if for dear life, telling him to stay, knowing that if she let him leave, he would never come out. He would die in the fire for a man who betrayed them all. Yet, all she could do as she watched her brother slip out of her grip was stand there, screaming at him in her head to stop, to stay with her. To scream words that he'd never hear. She watched as he ran into the dancing flames, almost feeling the heat herself, and then saw the entire thing-

That was when she woke up.

It wasn't the first time she had had that dream, but it was still as traumatic as ever.  
Hiro whimpered slightly, involuntary tears falling from her eyes and streaming down her face. 

She missed Tadashi.

Suddenly, the quiet whooshing sound of something inflating filled the air. Hiro turned to see Baymax, now fully activated, looking around blinking.

"I heard a sound of distress. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?"

Hiro smiled slightly at the robot, though she was sure it looked more like a grimace.

"It's not that kind of pain, Baymax." She whispered shakily. 

Baymax blinked again.

"I will scan you." He said " Scan complete."

He then started to state all of her symptoms as per usual, coming up with the diagnosis that she already knew, of nightmares.

"Would you like a warm glass of milk?" The giant squishy robot inquired.

Hiro simply shook her head. She didn't really want to consume anything the way she was feeling at the moment.

Baymax then waddled over and engulfed her into a warm embrace.

"Security is important to people who are experiencing night terrors."

Hiro had a smile on her face as she slipped back into unconsciousness.

 

 

3.

Tadashi had always hated the fact that Hiro enjoyed bot fighting, he called it vile, dangerous, unsuitable for a young lady as herself, and not to mention illegal!  
Hiro would always grin cheekily at him and reply with some snarky comeback, like telling him that only betting on bot fights was illegal, which would almost always earn her a frustrated eye roll. 

Now, she did get where her brother was coming from, bot fights WERE quite dangerous and she knew first hand how so. Yet, she still snuck out at night to go to them.

Hiro knew that Tadashi had sown trackers into her hoodies. How else did he think that she thought he knew how to find her at every bot fight she went to? She had been slightly annoyed at him at first, not believing how little he had trusted her. However, after a few daring rescues by Tadashi from angry sore losers, it had started to grow on her. 

It made her feel safe knowing that her brother was always watching out for her. Not that she'd ever admit it, Tadashi didn't even know she knew about trackers at all. 

Yeah, he totally just knew wherever Hiro was because he just did.

So, Hiro was clearly well aware of the risks of bot fighting and was fully prepared to ignore all warning signs. That was why at that exact moment, she was collecting her prize money after winning one of those fights.

After the fire, she hadn't gone bot fighting again, which was understandable. With the fire, Tadashi's death, and defeating Callaghan, there simply wasn't enough time to even think about bot fighting. 

As she tucked the money into the pocket of her jeans, she started to get this nagging at the back of her mind.

'Tadashi wouldn't like you being here again'

She felt the familiar feeling of guilt bubbling up inside of her. He would have been extremely disappointed. The whole reason for trying to get her into SFIT was so that she would stop bot fighting and getting into trouble.  
In a way she was dismissing all of his hard work by going that night, dismissing his sacrific-

No.  
She couldn't dwell on that. 

She mentally shook her head and reprimanded herself for thinking like that. Right then, she just needed to focus on the task at hand, right then, right there. Not to mention the only reason she had actually gone there was to get her mind off of the nightmare she had the night before. 

Even though she calmed down afterwards she was still deeply in pain, scarred for life possibly. 

Bot fighting was a good way to get her mind off of things. 

Giving everyone on last bow, she then proceeded to exit the room.

She knew she should have expected it, knew that she should have known. From all of her previous experiences, she should have known that it was inevitable that there were going to be some sore losers that night.

As she stepped into the dark alley outside, she was grabbed from behind, a hand covering her mouth to stop her from crying out for help.

Doing the natural thing in a situation like that, she bit down on the hand, hard. 

She tasted the metallic tang of blood and the salty taste of sweat, cringing slightly in disgust. The owner of the hand, a man by the sound of it, cried out in pain and threw her onto the floor, her head knocking onto the concrete.

Two other men grabbed onto her arms, pulling her to her feet, while the man who she'd bitten glared at her with a gaze full of pure venom.

He yelled out an order, which Hiro couldn't make out over the roaring of blood in her ears, but she knew that she was in for a lot of trouble.

The two men shoved her roughly, causing her to collapse onto her knees, so that she was kneeling on the floor, one of them pushing her head down. She tried to fight it but all she got was a rough kick in the stomach, the pain hindering her attempts to escape.

Staring down at the concrete, she let out a small chuckle. Her situation was so ironic that it was funny. Who knew that Tadashi's predictions would come true as soon as he wasn't able to come to her rescue any longer.

Her chuckle seemed to irritate the man as he grabbed her chin brusquely and forced her to look him in the eyes.

"What's so funny, huh?" He growled, his eyes burning with malice "I'll give you something to laugh about."

He pulled back his fist, aiming towards Hiro's face.  
Hiro squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the punch to land.

It never did. 

Tentatively opening her eyes, she saw that the man had been knocked out by a familiar yellow disk.

"Get your hands off of her." Gogo demanded coldly, glaring menacingly from where she stood.

The men, shocked that their leader was taken down so easily, dropped Hiro, who collapsed once more onto the floor, grabbed their leader, and hightailed it out of the alley.

Hiro shakily got up to her knees and looked up at Gogo, who pulled a tracking device out of her pocket.

"Who knew that these would actually come in handy." She mused looking at the device, then giving Hiro a concerned look, helped her up to her feet.

"Come on, let's get you home"

 

 

4\. 

Hiro had never understood why people would self harm. It wasn't like things would get better if you purposefully injured yourself; it was actually very likely to get worse. 

Actually, scratch that, definitely get worse.

She had also never understood the motivation those people had to go ahead and harm themselves. She had heard of the reasons, but just never understood it. 

She had been sad and depressed before, yet she was never compelled to draw her own blood. Though to be completely fair, she always had Tadashi.

Tadashi was the one who cheered her up no matter what happened or how bad she felt. He always knew the right things to do and the right things to say whenever she was down. Even when she tried to pretend that she was fine, his big brother senses would kick in and he'd immediately know that something was wrong.

He was so good at cheering her up, she had used to actually think that he was magical when she was little. 

Yes, magical Tadashi who would always show up when she needed him. 

If only she could still continue to believe that.

Things had been bad.  
She couldn't exactly pinpoint when it started, but she thought that it was definitely after the nightmare and the bot fight. 

She was suffocating in a cesspit of darkness. 

It was gradual. At first it was easy to ignore with all the school work and superheroing to do; she barely even acknowledged it. Then slowly, it began to turn into this nagging at the back of her mind, reminding her of this panging emptiness at the oddest of moments. Soon it became moments of deep despair and self-loathing.

Hiro started realizing some things; like how she basically stole Baymax from Tadashi, or how she was really annoying, or how she was constantly getting into trouble; and she realized how much of a nuisance she was. 

She was constantly creating huge messes that demanded the attention of her friends and family, like the bullying or the bot fighting or the nightmares.  
She was basically a huge mess herself. A broken machine that constantly needed to be fixed but couldn't stay fixed no matter what.

She was the same way when she was with Tadashi too, a nuisance and a mess. She wondered why people still bothered trying to help. Why Tadashi had bothered to help.

Thus she needed to try and make less of a nuisance of herself. Slather on a smile and a cheery persona. Hide all traces of the darkness away from everyone under a mask of fake laughter and joy. Keep it so that they wouldn't leave her because of how much of a waste of space and air she was.

And it worked.

People all around her seemed to believe that things were great, that she was happy and perfectly fine. No one even suspected at the darkness growing inside her. 

So she kept it up, lies upon lies, until she was drowning in it. Falling. Dragged down to the depths of hell.

Sometimes, she wanted people to know. To know how much she was hurting, how much pain she was in. 

She didn't say anything though, she kept her mouth shut.  
She couldn't afford to slip up. One mistake and her entire facade would crumble and shatter. This was one mission she couldn't risk to compromise.

Holding things in was never a good option though. Things tended to build up, like a dam holding back water, pressure building until it couldn't be cooped up anymore and broke free. 

Maybe that was why Hiro found herself with the razor in hand, poised just above her exposed inner arm, mere inches apart from her fragile skin.

Hiro had never understood why people would self harm. It wasn't like things would get better if you purposefully injured yourself, it was actually very likely to get worse.

She had also never understood the motivation those people had to go ahead and harm themselves, she had heard of the reasons, but never understood it. 

She understood it now.

She had been sad and depressed before, yet she was never compelled to draw her own blood. Though to be completely fair, she always had Tadashi.

Now she didn't.

Baymax had been left back at the lab so he wouldn't get in the way. Hiro didn't want him activating and finding out. Knowing him, he'd call and inform everyone and she'd be exposed. She couldn't let that happen. 

She deserved the pain, she really did.

She was filled with such hatred for herself, for not being happy, for needing help, for being a nuisance, that she felt numb. 

All she had to do to relieve that pain was to bring th-

The door creaked open.

"Hiro I brought you some dinne-" there was a loud gasp followed by the sound of plates clattering onto the floor.

Damn it, she forgot about aunt Cass.

Tears finally blurred her vision, bubbling from her eyes and overflowing, as she felt herself dissolving in tears.

Hiro sobbed messily, tears and snot streaming down her face. She felt aunt Cass rush over and wrap her arms around her tightly, tears falling and whispering quiet assurances that Hiro wasn't sure whether were to reassure her or herself. 

She felt her grip on the blade loosen and the razor slipping put of her hand. She didn't bother to do anything about it, barely acknowledging it at all.

"Why are you still here?" She managed to choke out through all of the tears, voice hoarse and raw "I'm such a nuisance."

She felt the arms around her tighten even more.

"You're not a nuisance." Aunt Cass said " Weren't before and still aren't now. No one thinks that."

Hiro felt herself crying harder than she thought was humanly possible. She cried until she was all spent and thought that she wouldn't be able to produce another tear even if her life depended on it.

"I'm really not a nuisance?" She asked, quietly.  
"You really aren't."

 

 

1.

It had started out as a normal San Fransokyo day. The sun was shining, the skies were blue, and the lucky cat bustling with customers in for some breakfast. 

Hiro went through her normal morning routine; waking up, dressing, brushing her teeth, tying her hair, eating breakfast downstairs.  
Things weren't unusual in the slightest.

Checking the clock hanging from the cafe wall, Hiro decided that it was high time for her to head over to SFIT. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she headed out the door, but not before giving aunt Cass a hug and a whispered assurance that she was feeling fine.

And she was.

After the...incident a while ago, things had started to get better. Not automatically of course, things like that didn't just disappear, but it slowly eased away.  
She was still feeling insecure and off though, often not entirely caring if anything happened to her, something that often showed during battles or on patrol. This caused everyone to pay a little extra attention to her, which was kind of nice, in a sense.

Walking down a small side walk, she let her thoughts wander to Tadashi. Things were harder to deal with without him, her world having turned upside down the day he died, but they were getting easier.

It still hurt. Probably always would, but she couldn't let that define her life. Tadashi wouldn't have wanted that.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she continued walking. 

Somehow she found herself once again distracted by them as she was crossing the street, so much that she didn't hear the sounds of tires screeching or the putrid scent of burnt rubber until it was too late.

The impact happened in a flash of pain, her body taking most of the hit before she bounced off of the car and onto the floor, hitting her head heavily on the cement.

Everything hurt, crashing into her in waves of agony. She could feel the blood pooling around her; wet, sticky and warm. 

Oh god, she was lying in a puddle of her own blood.

She felt woozy, whether from the blood loss, the head injury or both she wasn't sure. 

The pain was getting unbearable and the constant sound of panicked chattering didn't help at all. She wanted them to be shut up and be silent. She just wanted the pure agony she was feeling to be over.

She was so tired.

The voices were setting her on edge and she was well aware that her blood was quickly leaking out of her body.

But it was okay. She was going to be with Tadashi. 

No more guilt, no more fears, no more insecurities. No more pain.

It'd all be over soon. 

Her eyes felt heavy as she slowly gave up the fight to keep them open.

She'd be with him soon.

 

Three

 

 

Two

 

 

One

 

 

She opened her eyes somewhere different with a familiar face looming above hers.

"Hi Tadashi ."

 

 

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been an entire two months since the car accident where she woke up in the hospital with a worried Tadashi looming above her.

He had started scolding Hiro for being so careless and idiotic, yelling about how he gets stuck in Australia for five months and this was what he finds as soon as he gets back after he was finally able to scratch together enough money for the trip. He then suddenly faltered, tears welling up in his already red rimmed eyes, and wrapped her up in a tight embrace. 

Hiro had been injured enough that she wasn't able to even think about going back to SFIT for at least a week, and since it was the end of the school year and one week was all that was left of it, she basically had to finish any exams she had online.

Now all this time later, it was time to return to SFIT again.

Hiro and Tadashi were walking to school together, Hiro having fully recovered from her injuries, and were cheerfully conversing.

"So that's the story. Wait, did I tell you about that time with the giant spider?" 

Hiro shook her head. He had, but she really wanted to hear it again. 

She sometimes still couldn't believe that Tadashi was alive, after the fire and the many months of emptiness. She guessed that Callaghan did have a heart, dumping her unconscious brother in Australia instead of letting him die. The pain she suffered while she believed he'd been gone were definitely worth it, just finally having him back safe and sound. 

Not to mention the hilarious look on his face when he realized that they had a funeral for him.

Just as Tadashi was going to start telling his story, a low whistle caught their attention. 

It was a guy.

He was dressed in a leather jacket and skinny jeans with hair slicked back with so much gel it looked like it'd be as hard as a brick. And he was looking at Hiro as if she was a piece of meat.

"Hey, there." He called out to her "You wanna ditch the old guy and come hang out with me?"

Tadashi was furious, how dare he speak to his sister like that, but before he could do anything, Hiro had walked up to the guy, elbowed him in the gut, kicked his leg out from under him and thrown him onto the floor moaning in pain.

She looked back at Tadashi who was gaping at her in disbelief.

"What?" She asked "I'm friends with Gogo. Plus, it's not like that's the first time that's ever happened." 

She then turned back to the road and continued walking, leaving a still slightly shell shocked Tadashi to process everything that had happened.

"Wait, what do you mean this isn't the first time this has ever happened?!?!"

**Author's Note:**

> Well, then. Thank you to whoever stayed till the end of this! I have no idea why, this is pretty bad. I hope this wasn't too horrible!


End file.
